Grocery shopping in Europe. Or: "Reason #54 why I should have learned French"

Before this trip, I had only ever been outside the country once and that was to visit Canada with my family. And I was seven. 

I'm using that as my excuse for why I have absolutely no idea what any European customs are. None. And this lead to a few embarrassing moments, particularly at the grocery store. SO! I'mma go ahead and leave a little guide here for any first time Belgian shoppers. 

1. Stores do not provide bags for you. 

Right?! I was absolutely unprepared for this. The first time I went to pick up some items from an express supermarket they just unceremoniously pushed my items (a wine bottle corkscrew thing and some croissants) towards me. I then had to tuck all the croissants under one arm and carry the corkscrew in my hand as I wandered home. I don't know why they don't have bags. You just have to deal with it. And learn the phrase "je voudrais un sac."

2. Stores will not bag your groceries

There is no faster way to feel like a rude, presumptuous American than to stand and stare at a cashier for a full 2 minutes before you realize that they are not going to pack your bags for you, and you need to do it yourself. (You also need to provide the bags. Please refer to Rule #1.)

3. Many European credit cards have special chips in them. American cards do not. 

This means that the cashiers make you sign the receipt. Every. Single. Time. Debit, credit, under $25, always. Don't be that girl (me) that holds up the self check-out for a million years because they need to find someone authorized to check your receipt. 

4. You often need to weigh your fruits and veggies ahead of time. 

Also don't be that girl (me) who doesn't weigh her produce and gets to self-checkout and has to put everything back/ lie about what's in her cart so that she can just get out of there already because she's already holding people up with the credit card thing and HOW DID THE LINE GET SO LONG BEHIND ME?!?! Christ. 

5. More often than not, Cashiers are asking a question that you should just say "yes" to. 

So many times I've had to ask cashiers to repeat themselves in English only to find out that they were saying things like, "Is that all?", "Receipt in the bag?", "Have a good weekend!", or "Ma'am please stop hyperventilating, we're fixing the produce and credit card problems."

If they say it under their breath, if they are obviously not even paying attention to what they're saying, or if it sounds like something they've said a thousand times... Just smile and nod.

Alright. I think that's enough to get by on. Peace out girl scouts.