Europe: Where everything is just a little bit different

Here's my philosophy on Europe so far: some things are largely different from the U.S. (like language, cars on opposite sides of the road, etc.) but most things are just slightly different. Let me just list off some minor differences.

Also, in an attempt to not knock off The Oatmeal's "Minor Differences" I have changed my list to be called "Trivial differences."

(By the by, this post is not meant to rant on Europeans. I love the place, don't get me wrong. I'm just saying... differences.)

Europe v. America: Trivial differences

1. Light switches

What fresh hell is this? It's some strange square on the wall. Is there such a thing as the expression, "to flip a switch?" Because I don't see how it could apply. Also, you can't tell when a light is switched on or off, it just looks like a flat square. This has lead me to more confusion than I'm comfortable admitting.


2. Vacations
The country of Belgium just up and shuts down from July to August. This is not an exaggeration. People here get 10 weeks paid vacation to start, and they just take them all at the same time. So you get to a store and there's just a sign that says, "Be back on August 28th." Oh. Oh I see. AND THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN DO! They're just... gone.
Mr. Whisker's heart medication will have to wait. The vet is closed for the month.

3. Manners
It feels like everyone here is obsessed with proper etiquette, but I feel that it might just be that I don't know the norms yet. I don't notice proper etiquette in the U.S. because I just instinctively know what to do and how to act.

HOWEVER. This one train worker pushed it too far when he snapped at one of my friends about having her foot tucked under her leg while she slept. This is a direct quote from a train ticket stamper: "Miss, here in Europe we don't put our feet up on the chair because we aren't five years old. If I see it again, I'll throw you off the train."

What the what? Oh I'm SORRY, everybody. Miss manners is apparently here to collect and stamp our train tickets.

Also, you have to eat pizza with a fork and knife and I'm finding it very difficult. ALSO there is a special way to hold your fork and knife which I am failing at.

4. Water
Here is the routine in which you order water:
1. Ask for tap water.
2. When they don't have it, ask for flat water.
3. When they don't have it, ask for sparkling water.
4. When it comes warm, ask for ice.
5. When they don't have ice, just suck it up and drink your sparkling water. Then pay 3 euro.

As far as I've seen in Europe, people don't drink water. I think they've evolved so that their bodies don't require it. There is no such thing as a drinking fountain, and certainly no such thing as free water. More often than not, water is more expensive than beer, and it comes in a much smaller glass. 


Also, (this goes along with manners), but you absolutely do NOT drink water straight out of a water bottle. They will bring you a cup and you must pour the water from the bottle into the glass. (Europe: adding unnecessary steps to your meals since 1881) If you don't, you'll end up like my friend who received a disapproving head shake from the old man sitting across from us. 

5. Shoes
Did you know that it's totally geeky to wear tennis shoes in public? Like, even cool fashionable Nike type shoes are lame. They have to be a special "European-type" style. Thus, my nerdified adidas only come out when I go running.

6. Pharmacies
There are "day pharmacies" and "night pharmacies." The day pharmacies open at noon and close at 6ish. The night pharmacies rotate. Like, maybe one night a pharmacy will be open, but tomorrow it'll be the night pharmacy 5 blocks down (or 20 blocks down, as was the case when I had food poisoning in a Quick Burger bathroom).

And, as with everything, they close for months at a time. Which begs the question: WHAT IF THESE PEOPLE GET SICK!? They must stockpile every pharmaceutical item because I have honestly never stumbled upon a pharmacy that was open.

7. Ordering food
Don't get too specific with your food order. The waiters don't like it. I once asked if I could share fries with my friend and a waiter just laughed in my face. Then he told me that fries are a side dish. When I asked if I could just order the side dish he laughed again. In Belgium, these people do not get tips. They are not there for your enjoyment. They're there to mock your food choices and sell you expensive water.


8. Mega-stores
They don't really exist. I'm not talking about just Wal-Mart right now. There aren't even Walgreens, CVS, or other smaller stores. And grocery stores only sell food. You can't get razors, cooking equipment, shampoo, office supplies etc. Every item has its own specialized store. It would be like if you needed a notebook and instead of just stopping by Jewel you have to drive to Office Max because they're the only ones that stock it.

9. Public transportation
Everybody takes it. Old ladies, little kids, everyone. And they are AGGRESSIVE. I witnessed a woman literally push a stroller (with a child inside) onto two wheels in order to get to the door faster. If you jostle someone, don't apologize because they certainly wouldn't. If you smile and say sorry they will look at you like you have three heads.


There are plenty more differences, but I think I've hit the ones that have affected me the most at this point. I would turn of the light and go to bed... but first I'll have to figure out the light switch.